I used to have geese so here’s a tip for everyone:
If a goose is attacking you, don’t run. No matter what, stand your ground. They can fly but when they’re mad, they don’t usually try to fly. Hold your hands in front of you, ready to grasp. When the goose gets close, grab it by the neck bit closest to the head and squeeze. Not tight enough to choke the goose, but tight enough so they can’t break free. You can hold them until they calm down or just do the next step right away. The next step is literally just to chuck them as far as possible and run for your life. It makes the goose know you’re in charge and you have a better chance of getting away. Trust me I’ve done this so many times that I’ve lost count
I can’t tell if this is a shitpost or actual advice. But I do know geese are the fucking worst.
People don’t often look back on the early 1900’s for advice, but what if we could actually learn something from the Lost Generation? The New York Public Library has digitized 100 “how to do it” cards found in cigarette boxes over 100 years ago, and the tips they give are so practical that millennials reading this might want to take notes.
Back in the day, cigarette cards were popular collectibles included in every pack, and displayed photos of celebrities, advertisements, and more. Gallaher cigarettes, a UK-founded tobacco company that was once the largest in the world, decided to print a series of helpful how-to’s on their cards, which ranged from mundane tasks (boiling potatoes) to unlikely scenarios (stopping a runaway horse). Most of them are insanely clever, though, like how to make a fire extinguisher at home. Who even knew you could do that?
The entire set of life hacks is now part of the NYPL’s George Arents Collection. Check out some of the cleverest ones we could find below. You never know when you’ll have to clean real lace!
So has anyone written a bagginshield au where Thorin and Bilbo act more like Gomez and Morticia Addams? Because that would be amazing.
Thorin constantly using Khuzdul pet names. Bilbo willingly letting Thorin kiss every inch of him no matter where they are.
“Don’t torture yourself, Thorin. That’s my job.”
“Look at my hobbit. I would die for him. I would kill for him. Either way, what bliss!”
And like the Addams Family everyone in Erebor would be used to it not giving it a thought until someone like Thranduil comes to the mountain. He’s confused and eventually sickened…and Thorin knows and loves this and practically has Bilbo in his lap throughout their meeting.
I feel obliged to make this happen, but… Nanowrimo….. Maybe later?
Lesbians that complain about bi women dating men instead of them are officially the “nice guys” of biphobia.
“Why would she date a smelly BOY when she could date me instead? I’d treat her so much better than any man could! I don’t understand what she could possibly see in a MAN!”
if u say this shit, imma leave u for a man immediately. the first one on sight. period.
The same applies to gay men that complain about bi men dating women instead of them.
As a bi person in a realtionship with a bi person, I would also like to point out that a bi guy and a bi gal dating does not mean that suddenly they’re straight. Just wanted to put that out there
Bootsrcool 